yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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