is wine microwaveable?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
