Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
