his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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