it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
