He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
