Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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