Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the day after is always just damage control
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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