I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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