yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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