do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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