Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
