i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
