It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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