Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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