My room smells like vodka and shame
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
