So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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