I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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