idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
