I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
