Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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