he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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