bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
