I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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