just come out here and I will go home with you...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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