Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
