how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
