if i can run in heels then i can drive
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
