DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
