I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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