A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
