just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
