New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
