He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
