I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
