Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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