dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
