ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
