Who wears a wallet chain?!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
