You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
