I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
