you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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