I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
