Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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