Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
