He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
