Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
