The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
