your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You're a waste of cheezeits
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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