You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
