this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
