Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
