Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
