I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
