Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
a search helicopter?!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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