is your mom at the bar?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
