I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
